splitting

im working hard here
to split myself off
into two seperate people
the one who gets their readings done for class
who dips toes and dives in
to that world of academia
while at the same time
allowing my clone my copy my counterpart
to continue on with the life ive laid out
but its not working

i havent the time to keep up
nor the will
nor the energy
to keep with four far flung groups of friends
who fail to converge
though the overlap would be fearful
my time at least could come at a better bargain

ive printed out all the papers for one class
searched them out
rolled through a ream of paper
now i just have to organize them
this organization obsession
slows me down so
yet
without it
i feel lost adrift
uncertainty leading to further delay
so i may as well get out that hole punch
and bind these bastards.

i want my photos from this week past
the insanity of parties from thursday though
again i see
i cant keep this up
but next week
is the dodgeball excursion
how can i not go?
how can i miss it?
as it is
man man will play without me dancing in the front row
theres neither money nor time for such extravagance

so to the floor i go
to sit and slice
and clip and fold
then on to those readings
i barely have hope of starting

god
how pessimistic
i got 8 hours of sleep
i am invincible again
oh.
and my hair?
can you say... mohawk?