ham sandwich

how much time can i really spend
worry.ing
that im going to hurt someone
i let things slide
moments when i should stop and make a decision
plant my feet and draw the foul
let it all slam down

im not sure if its the denial that drives me
or the addling of exhaustion
and that another excuse
for bad choices made
moments when i come undone
bringing myself to a place
where logic cannot
intervene

it feels like the end of summer today
the sun hot
but the breeze
sharpening

i sat in the sun this mornign
on a porch that isnt mine
drinking cup of black coffee
the refrigerator was bare