i am glad

that today is grey and chill
i am grateful
there is not the rush and hustle
to go out and enjoy
i can sit here
exhausted
watching hours tick past
waiting for some semblance of normalcy
to return to my body
the line between what is abuse
and what benefit
has been blurred
by lack of sleep
by long late bike riding
by liquor drunk in friendship

i have the time for once
to indulge myself
so i do

another cup of coffee
i have not changed
into clothes
suitable for the outdoors
its nearly to cold for bare feet in my house
dirt tracked in late
sticks to my soles
catches between my toes
gritty and foreign

i have all the time in the world
just the people i wish to fill it with
do not.