as soon as it had started

tomorrow is empty
all the planning
shifting myself
to be at the right place
at the right time
has fallen through

one day i will realize
that it is when i sit back
relax
let the world pass me by
that i find what i am looking for
all this chasing
fruitless as it has been
only serves up sadness

today was to long
so filled up to the brim
with work and school
the small accomplishments of the day
another interview completed
another editorial written
list compiled
academic papers read
and in class
proving im not perfect

theres no way for me
to step down from this place as teachers pet
but im also the one who steps up
challenges the prof
when his actions are unfair
they can hate me all i want
i will never be their friends anyway
they are not like me.

i just wish i didnt feel so lonely
here at home
riding away on my bike
was a harder thing to do tonight
than i had thought it would be
i dont know what i should have done
only that another day has gone by
passed by
and even as i tell myself to give up
i keep trying
its not my nature to sit back and wait
so for all it may drive me mad