slip slidin

ive lost my footing again
time has slid somehow
sped without my notice
my apartment is too warm
walking outside
i brace myself for the cold
for no reason at all
i look at my arms
skin exposed to the sun
this feeling of wearing a jacket
but seeing that ive walked out without one
this year has been so hectic
to complete it its rush and craze
i only now am stopping to look back
and can barely discern one month from the next
winter is far gone
with the trees thick with leaves
my feet warm finally
no fear of frost biting toes away

i feel like im walking around
the world held out at a distance
this divide between my eyes and hands
that keeps it all observed never happening
my fingertips tripping in the breeze as time passes
as though held out the window of a car on a highway
im safe in here

i have until august
to decide
where im going with all this
to decide
whats worth my time
i have to cut back
cut off
cleave from
so many desires and obligations
that my days are spent running
never seeing beyond the next crack in the pavement
i hope i go the right way
or if i make a mistake
that i dont get mired in regret
instead just fix it then and there
and keep on